Doing well versus feeling good

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If you happen to be a Twitter-er, you’ll know that this microblog launches off one simple question:

What are you doing?

People, many of whom are strangers to one another and who would not otherwise be communicating with each other, now seem to have an non-intrusive way of communicating with each other by answering that simple question, What are you doing?

Now, while what you are doing may be interesting or important or meaningful or life-changing, what is really most fascinating about ‘what you are doing’ is that it reflects something else that is happening WITHIN you, something that drives ‘what you are doing’.

Most of us tend to place more value and give greater significance to what we are doing than to what is happening within us, to the point that if we do not appear to be doing something recognizably ‘useful’ or ’significant’ or ‘important’, we feel useless, unworthy or unimportant.  In other words, we must be seen to be doing *something* in order to feel worthy of our place on this planet.

This is what often motivates us to do the things that we do, whether it is the job that we spend the best part of our day at or the actions we take to remain in someone’s good books or the devices we use to improve our image or standing in a community or group.

But consider for a moment what might happen if you shifted your attention to ‘how am I feeling?’  What value could you derive from this?

Given that your natural state (which you can easily experience in meditation) is one of peace, harmony, spontaneous joy, spaciousness, limitlessness, freedom and unconditional love, you would be able to tune into any feeling that does not resonate with your natural state.

By becoming aware of these un-natural (not abnormal) feelings such as anger, fear, resentment, sadness etc (feelings that we have learned and become conditioned into), we place ourselves in the very powerful position of FREE CHOICE.

It is from this place of free choice that we can decide if we want to re-align with our natural state of happiness.  If we do, then all we need to do is IMAGINE (with all our senses), INTEND and ALLOW the feelings that we do want to feel and which are aligned with our natural state.  It is as simple as that.

Once we are aligned with our naturally good, creative, powerful, freeing and limitless feelings, we are likely to bring them into whatever action we take!  In fact, our actions will be joyously INSPIRED by our good feelings rather than effortfully driven by our negative ones!  Wouldn’t you just love that?

Blessings

Lucy Lopez

Awakening to Happiness!

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“I’m devastated, I kept waiting to hear it was a hoax. I feel like a piece of me is dead.”

A fan

If your reaction to Michael Jackson’s death was anything like mine, it would have been one of great shock, disbelief, denial, profound and inexplicable sadness, an utter sense of loss and a muted though persistent plea ‘Let this not be true’.

It feels as if his death has sent a shock wave through the planet causing it to reverberate with a cascade of emotions. What is more, I do not believe that it is entirely the result of media coverage either.  Rather, it seems to me to have something more to do with the presence he commanded in this world – the musical, singing and dancing genius that he was and, despite all the controversy that surrounded him, the gentle, almost child-like demeanor that he possessed.

I cannot say that I was a Michael Jackson fan but that did not stop me from enjoying his music and marveling at his genius, introducing him to my children as did so many other parents of my generation to theirs.

I loved his dancing, it was so slick, so fine, so precise, so elegant in its efficiency and so him.  I heard one comment that so much of our dance today took off from his dance moves and choreography and I am inclined to agree.  Of course, his derived from the likes of Fred Astaire but they were personalized with his creative genius into his unique form.

I loved his songs and his singing.  They were always full of the emotions they spoke of.  I think he gave everything of himself in his singing and dancing.  In that sense, it felt as if they were his consummate occupation.  Whatever else he did and however (much) he gave to them, I have no doubt that in his music, he gave all.

I am surprised at my response to his death.  I have wondered over these hours since hearing the news why I am so filled with this sense of loss, as I believe so many, many others around the world are.  Why?  Is it because of the suddenness of his death?  Is it because of the loss of his genius to a world he has undoubtedly shaped?

Is it because, like so many others, I was so relieved, albeit a trifle concerned by the enormity of his planned come-back, only to have it thwarted by his death?  Is it because, I, like so many others, didn’t really believe he could die?  Is it because, I am as much victim to the fantasy of Peter Pan and his deathlessness as Michael Jackson may have been?

This morning, I brought my feelings into awareness in my morning meditation practice.  I made them the subject of my observation, sitting with them, not judging them, not getting embroiled in them, not avoiding them or hurrying them away.  Just sitting with them.

What emerged was this:  A re-cognizing that everything is as it is, happening in its own time and place, in its perfect order.  A re-cognizing also that each one, in his or her own way, makes choices, whether consciously or unconsciously, about themselves.  Michael Jackson was no exception.

This re-cognizing resulted in a gentle easing away of my sadness and loss.  What is now in its place is a quiet acceptance of the perfect and profound nature of life, of which death is a part.  I feel more ready now to partake in whatever grieving is about to take place, globally and in my immediate surrounds.  After all, my children danced to his music but a few years ago, my son performing the signature moon walk and the hat flick to admirable similarity.

It is still beyond my understanding, why I, neither a fan nor someone who listened to his music in the way I have listened to Santana or U2 or Dire Straits, can be so moved by his death.  In my desire to find some explanation, I speculate that it must be as much to do with the individuality of Michael as it is to do with his universality – a magical convergence of the expression of the All in the one – a convergence that occurred at a time in history when not just some, but many right across this planet were fortunate enough to experience it.

May you continue your wondrous journey in eternity in the non-physical Michael as we continue ours in the physical…for now!  May all of us remaining be consoled by the wonder of life, much of which you expressed for us through your music and through your life.  May those who were more closely connected with you, your family, chidren and friends, be soothed by the magical genius that you could not help but share with all the world.

Blessings

Lucy Lopez

Awakening in Happiness!

Breath from abm-enterprises

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As people get into the habit of observing their breath during meditation practice, it is easy for them to lose sight of the purpose of breath awareness.  In fact, it is easy to fall into the trap of thinking that observing the breath is the purpose of meditation!  It is not.  It is merely a means to an end…

As I’ve explained in my previous posts on meditation, the practice of meditation has many and far-reaching benefits.  Ultimately, however, its purpose is to help us achieve greater states of happiness and peace, something that we all want.

So why is breath observation given so much attention and importance?  Let’s look at some of the reasons:

• It gives us a readily available point of focus.  No matter where you are or what you are doing, you can always tune into your breath
• No other materials or preparation are required for us to practice observing our breath
• It provides us with a readily available object of focus that traverses the entire landscape of gross to subtle phenomena.  For instance, when you first begin, you may focus on the in-breath and the out-breath.  Then you might extend your observation to notice through which nostril the breath enters and through which it leaves.  Next, you might notice the speed of entry and exist of air and the force of entry and exit.  As you continue, you will begin to notice even more subtle qualities of the breath by observing the length of the in-breath and that of the out-breath and the ‘gap’ or pause between each out-breath and the next in-breath.  You may also notice the sensations you experience at the rims of your nostrils as air enters and leaves.  In this way, the breath provides you with a range of observable qualities, from ‘gross’ to ’subtle’ .

So how is all this beneficial?

Well, for one thing, the sharper and finer your observation, the clearer and brighter is the quality of mindspace that you occupy as more and more of your conditioned thoughts, feelings and other preoccupations  ’settle’ like mud in a glass of muddy water.

This quality of mind approximates the quality of your natural, unconditioned mind of unsurpassable power, clarity, creativity, freedom, peace and joy!  Wouldn’t you want to be living from such a mind rather than one that is clouded and disturbed by innumerable, habitual, enslaving thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc?

But there is more!

As you practise observing your breath in a gentle, compassionate and non-judgmental way, you are setting your mind free from its ingrained habits of judging, responding harshly to undesirable situations or avoiding them altogether!  Can you imagine the freedom and joy that this kind of non-judging, compassionnate attitude affords us?

And there is still more!

Your experience in observing your breath is a microcosm of your experience of the world at large!  Everything that happens during your practice reflects what happens outside your practice.

If you find yourself getting tense or agitated and wanting to stop the practice or if you keep judging your breath, wanting to change it instead of simply observing and accepting it, or if you become impatient with the practice, resisting it or resenting it, you can be certain that you are also displaying similar attitudes, responses and ways of thinking and feeling in life more generally.

In an indirect way, observing your breathing is the perfect way of observing your mind at work!  Such observation provides you with hard data about yourself, your conditioned self, and armed with such data, you are in a position to make new and different choices, freely from your clear mind state!  What a truly powerful thing that is!

So, don’t mistake the finger pointing at the moon (observing the breath) for the moon (self-awareness, freedom from conditioned existence).  It is a means to an end – a simple, easy-to-use means to a profound and liberating end!

Blessings

Lucy Lopez

Awakening to Happiness!

Image at I Breathe In

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Quite often, people who are new to meditation practice may find the experience disconcerting.  Take a client of mine, Jake, for instance.

By his assessment, the first two daily sessions went very well for him.  However, on the third day, during the third session, he went into a mild panic and interrupted the session by asking if he could ’sit this one out’.

I opened my eyes to reassure him that I had heard his request and to indicate that I had been aware of his ’struggle’.  I did this by resting my gaze softly on his eyes, smiling and saying : “We are nearly done.  Could you hold on?”

This did reassure him and so he remained for the rest of the practice, following which, we had our usual debrief.

“What was it that troubled you?”  I asked.

“Too many thoughts” he replied shaking his head as if trying to shake off the thoughts.

“Too many thoughts or too troubling thoughts?” I asked.

He laughed in amusement, relieved that I understood.  “Troubling thoughts”, he replied.

It was time for me to share yet another Buddhist analogy that helps to describe experiences like Jake’s.

You have a garment that you decide to wash under a tap of running water.  You just assume that since you’ve used the garment, you should wash it.

As the water runs through the garment, however, you are alarmed to see how much dirt it releases from the garment.  You had not been aware of all that dirt, yet now that you see it you’re alarmed and somewhat repelled by it.

What do you do?  Do you curse the water for releasing all that dirt?  For making you aware of it?  Or do you allow the water to continue releasing as much of the dirt as possible until you are left with a clean garment?

Meditation practice allows you to become aware of all the conditioned thoughts, fears, anxieties, cravings, attachments, doubts, self-disgust, aversions and beliefs that have become part of your ‘garment’ of existence.  Meditation practice does not put all of this into your mind, no more than running water puts the dirt in your garment, it just makes you aware of the ‘dirt’.

Would you still want to abandon the practice?  Or can you see that it allows you to experience your natural happiness that lies in wait for you behind the clouds of your conditioning that your life experiences have built up?

Remember, you cannot change what you don’t know or what you refuse to acknowledge.

If you don’t know what thoughts, feelings, beliefs, attachments, aversions etc lie in your subconscious mind, or if you insist on denying or ignoring them, how can you possibly change them, or choose different thoughts, feelings, beliefs etc?

As you become more accepting of your thoughts, feelings, beliefs, cravings etc, as you become more willing to acknowledge them, they lose their ‘power’ over you.  Instead, you are able to see them for what they are – events – nothing more and nothing less, and you are in a position to make choices, choosing those thoughts/feelings/beliefs that serve you well and discarding or changing those that don’t.

Remember, you are not your thoughts or feelings, so do not identify with them.  See them instead as events that you experience.  Learn to think like this:

Anger is happening NOT I am angry.

This is not playing with words.  This is recognizing truth, or as Buddhism puts it, ’seeing things as they truly are’.

Blessings,

Lucy Lopez

Awakening to Happiness!