Overweight and Unaware

Someone recently asked me what my thoughts were on dealing with a ‘weight problem’. This person finds that she overeats and puts on weight easily. She seemed to think that her ego had set out to make her identify with her weight.

I decided I would provide her with some ways of thinking and feeling her way through this experience. Whilst my response is not as comprehensive as it could be, I believe it does provide something that she and others could use in dealing with a similar ‘problem’:

Treating the ego like an enemy is simply giving an illusion even more power/energy.

The unenlightened state of awareness requires the light of truth on it. What is the truth of your relationship with food? I cannot tell you what that is. You will have to find out for yourself through observation.

When you find yourself seeking food and eating food, observe your feelings. How were you feeling before seeking/eating food? How did you feel while eating and how do you feel after eating and before the guilt/negative feelings arise?

These feelings point you to your beliefs. It is CRITICAL that when you observe your feelings, you really do OBSERVE and not ASSUME you know what they are (perhaps as a result of what you’ve read or heard or think you know). Maintain a sincere attitude of ‘I don’t know’ when you observe.

As the feeling/s reveal themselves, ask why you feel so. Once again, don’t assume you know the reason. Wait for it to reveal itself to you. Then lovingly question the belief/s: Is it valid? Can I be absolutely sure that this is true? How does it help me to have this belief?

Next, ask what you would RATHER FEEL. Once again, don’t assume you know what this is as it is not necessarily the opposite of how you felt/feel.

For instance, if I feel afraid, and I ask myself how I would rather feel, the intuitive/spontaneous response may be “peaceful” rather than “courageous” or “fearless” (as the intellect would suggest). So wait for the spontaneous response.

Then ask: What belief would I rather have? What belief would allow me to feel whatever it is I want to feel? Having determined this belief, INTEND IT and ALLOW IT.

For example, let’s say that one of your beliefs is that the ego wants to keep you identified with your weight/eating habits. Having questioned this belief and found it to be invalid/unsupportive/disempowering, you decide you would prefer to have a different belief. Perhaps you might want to believe that your beliefs keep you identified with your weight/eating habits AND that by changing your beliefs you can cease identifying with your weight/eating habits.

In this case, you may ask: What beliefs keep me identified with my weight/eating habits?

When you have discerned these, you can then choose the beliefs you WOULD RATHER HAVE. When you have chosen these, you can INTEND and ALLOW them:

I intend to believe that….
I allow myself to believe that…

NOTE, By saying you WANT TO BELIEVE something, rather than you BELIEVE it, you are being honest and the emotional support that you need to adopt this belief becomes easily available. It would not be available if you attempted this as an intellectual exercise in which you try to convince yourself that you believe something that you don’t. (This is why affirmations generally fail – they often don’t have the emotional support)

Intending and Allowing are two powerful steps that make strong emotional support for change available.

Much love, Lucy