Whilst it is true that you are not responsible for a person’s response in a given situation, does it mean that you do not have to be sensitive to another person’s needs and beliefs? Does it mean that you should adopt a ‘one response fits all‘ approach?
My answer to the first question is ‘Of course not’. We do have to be sensitive to another person’s needs and beliefs. And how are we to do this? Well, you’ll find that answer in my answer to the second question.
Should you adopt a ‘one response fits all’ approach? Yes. And no. Let me explain.
Yes, you should insofar as you aim to always respond in love. No, because when your response is one in and of love, then you cannot help but be sensitive to where a person is and where they are coming from.
Does this mean that you are more likely to ‘pussy-foot’ around a response, refrain from speaking your mind and being honest? Now we are really getting into the nitty-gritty of matters.
If you really observe yourself, your thoughts and your thinking processes, you will find that most of your responses are ones that have been conditioned over your lifetime (or several lifetimes). In that sense, they are not ‘authentic’, meaning they are not the result of free thinking and free choice brought about through awareness which is unfettered by history and its embedded biases.
‘Speaking your mind‘ would therefore be a case of articulating old choices, old biases and old predispositions which have not been subjected to investigation, scrutiny and questioning. That kind of response only serves to perpetuate the old.
So, do you ‘bite your tongue‘? Well, if you have made a commitment to respond in love, then you will need to consider whether what you are about to say is going to be said in love, whether you truly believe it is going to help the situation, and whether you are likely to feel better or worse from having said it.
The last of these is particularly useful but can also be a little tricky when you are learning how to do it properly. Often, we seem to ‘feel better’ when we have ‘let it out’, spoken our mind, had an outburst. Actually, what we are feeling is relief from the tension that has been bottling up. It is not the same feeling of peace and calm and quiet joy that you feel when you have acted out of a state of love. This state of love is not one of fear or anxiety. Neither is it a state when you feel compelled to seek ‘justice’ which is often a case of seeking retribution/punishment. (Learn more with The Love Course).
In short, intend to think, speak and act in love and then be guided by prevailing conditions.
How about you? What are your thoughts? What do your experiences tell you?
Lucy Lopez
Awakening to our Greatness!
