Back in the days when my children were ‘little-r’, it was an almighty struggle for me, and for them, to get ourselves ready in good time for work and school respectively. Most days we would spin ourselves into a stress-wound tornado that eventually packed itself into my car and headed us off to our respective destinations.
My challenge was to get my children ready in decent time without rushing. Their challenge was, well, to stay out Mum’s stress-storm. My daughter was eight at the time. My son three years younger, had just started Grade One.
It thus followed that nearly every school day, no sooner would we have entered the car, when I would begin my ’sermonette’ on the horrible and dangerous effects of stress, how terribly I was suffering from it, what a ghastly way it was to start the day, and how it might endanger us all by causing mum to have an accident or even a heart attack, not to mention the long-term build-up toward cancer. I must have used the words ’stress’ and ’stressed’ a million times.
Well, nasty as all this sounded to me, it failed to modify the children’s behavior in any way that would ease my morning struggles. And struggle I did for at least half a year.
Not believing in being punitive, I nevertheless did think that the importance of cause and effect, of behavior and consequences, would have to be impressed upon my offspring or I would really be doomed. I decided to lay this out in the form of a contract which I got them to consider and sign their agreement to. They did. The contract comprised two rules:
Rule One: They had to be breakfasted, cleaned and dressed by
Rule Two: There would be no fighting before school. (This was a desperately needed rule as fighting was the cause of untold delays and distractions). Any disputes and retaliations would have to be deferred until after dinner, when half an hour of ‘fighting time’ would be allocated.
Well, believe it or not, the rules worked like a charm INSTANTLY! Not only were we getting into my car in time every morning, we were decidedly more relaxed. My ’sermonettes’ ceased as we enjoyed this change. Instead I praised the children for being so good at getting ready on time and for not causing Mum and themselves any stress.
And so it went on until one morning, just as I was about to lock the front door to get into my car (where my angels were already waiting for me), the phone rang. Thinking it rather unusual for someone to be ringing at this time, I decided I would answer it. About three minutes later, I was in my car, pulling out of the driveway, commending the children once again for such model behavior and apologizing for the two minute delay we had incurred as a result of that unexpected call.
I paused, marveling at my children and the dramatic change that had come about as a result of two simple rules, when my son clearly pleased with himself and with me asked from the back seat:
Mum, are we stressed now?
I would have fallen off my seat had I not been strapped to it. It was only then that I realized that for all my ranting and raving about stress and attempting to change my children’s behavior in its name, my five-year old, who had heard me use the word almost every day for almost six months, didn’t really know what it meant!
Such are the truths of motherhood…the stresses and strains, the joys and jubilations, the pleasures and pains, and yes, the awareness that is awakened at the least expected times…!
If you enjoyed this post and would like others to, click on one or more of the links below to link it to other social forums. Thank you 
