“I wanted to change my shirt but I changed my mind instead”

Winnie the Pooh

Have you noticed that every moment of your life is a moment of choice?

I know it’s hard to really get that because, most of the time, we’re on autopilot with our routines and our unquestioning acceptance of life ‘as is’.

We tend to forget that life ‘as is’ is the result of PAST thoughts, past choices and past beliefs.  If we want life to be ‘as desired’, then we have to change our CURRENT thoughts, current choices and current beliefs.

That means that we can choose to intercept our autopilot thinking, speaking and behavior.  More and more, we can make them moments of conscious choice

But perhaps you’ve decided that it’s easier to remain on autopilot, believing that being a conscious chooser can be hard work.

Take my friend, Beverly, for instance.  For weeks she agonized over a choice she believed she had to make.  You’d think it was a life-changing choice.  It wasn’t, at least not in the way we think of life-changing choices

It wasn’t about whether she should have an operation or not.  It wasn’t about whether she should marry her boyfriend or not.  It wasn’t about buying a house or donating an organ.  It wasn’t anything like that.

So what was this choice that she’d spent weeks agonizing over?

This:  “Should I exercise for five minutes every day or not?”

Yep, you can pick your jaw from off the floor now.  And no, I’m not telling you a porky either.

You see, poor old Bev was feeling dreadfully conflicted.  She believed it was the right thing to exercise.  She was afraid that if she didn’t exercise, she’d end up with medical and physical problems as she did spend most of her day at her desk.

But, the fact was, Bev didn’t like to exercise.  In fact, the very thought of it made her recoil with dread and pour herself even deeper into desk work.

For as long as she remained conflicted about what she believed was the ‘right’ thing to do and what she really felt, Bev could not make a choice.  And the more she procrastinated making her choice, the longer it remained unresolved in her mind.

Her ‘solution’?  Pour herself deeper into her work, distract herself.

But as you and I know, (because I’m sure we’ve had similar experiences), you can never completely distract yourself, can you?  That unmade decision is still tossing and turning in your subconscious mind waiting for you to put it to bed.

Without you noticing it, you start avoiding things, topics and people who remind you of it.  Sometimes, you go out of your way to convince yourself that other things are so much more important.

“This is trivial.  I’ll deal with it later.  For goodness sake, it’s not a matter of life and death!”

Or you convince yourself that you don’t have all the information you need and it’ll take you a while to gather it all.  In the meantime, distract yourself.

Yes, I know a lot about all these little devices that we use to get out of making a choice.  I’ve been a master of them!

The sad thing is, trivial as they may seem, we expend a disproportionate amount of time, mental and emotional energy in not making them!  Crazy but true.

And yet, most of these choices are really easy to make, once we know how AND once we understand why it is we experience such turmoil, resistance and reluctance to make them.

You see, they really do drain away our life energy for as long as they remain unmade.  They really are life and death decisions, slow death that is!

It’s much harder to resist or avoid anything than it is to allow.  Always!

Not making a choice is resisting the flow of life.  Making a choice, on the other hand, allows ‘flow’, it allows energy to do its work!

So, what are some of the things that you need to understand about why you find it hard to make choices and become a more ‘conscious chooser’ than an ‘autopilot’?

Here they are:

There are no ‘permanent’ choices unless you choose to make them so.  You need not condemn yourself to a life sentence of the choices you make

The best and most freeing choices are always open to review and revision

Not acting according to a choice you have made doesn’t make you bad, irresponsible or a failure.  It simply reflects your un-awakened state.  It is an opportunity to awaken, to observe yourself, to understand yourself and to take charge of your life.

There are no ‘wrong’ choices, only choices based on what you have and know best at any given time

You are a creative being whose creative process involves making choices after choices after choices – see it as a marvelous adventure in a field of infinite possibilities!

And finally, that empowering and liberating question that you can ask yourself whenever you are faced with a choice, regardless of how trivial or significant it may seem to you:

What do I most want now?

Yes, that is the only question you need to ask yourself every time and any time you want to make a choice.

Forget these types of questions:

What is the best or right thing to do?

What is the easiest thing to do?

What is the best gift I can give?

What is the best deal I can get?

None of these questions will inspire you and free you for three reasons:

1)     They are all about things beyond your control, based on arbitrary standards or values of others.

2)     They speak in absolute not relative terms which means they do not easily lend themselves to review and revision

3)     They are based on life ‘as is’.

But asking, “What do I most want now?” inspires and frees you to listen to your true desires which are not based on life ‘as is’ but which draws on your imagination, that creative genius which roams freely and is truly at home in the field of infinite possibilities!

Ask this question when faced with the most ‘mundane’ or ‘trivial’ choice.  Ask it when faced with the most trying and ‘critical’ choice.

Ask it.  Then listen.  Really listen.  Then allow yourself to be guided into an inspired, empowering and liberating choice!

Love always,

Lucy

Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you cantake control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedomthat comes from being in charge of yourself.

Robert F Bennett

Want to be a Happy and Successful  Parent? Learn ‘INSPIRED PARENTING’ from 5 teachers from The Secret. (Might be the perfect gift for Christmas :))

a

Inspiration comes forth from within. It’s what the light burning within you is about, as opposed to motivation, which is doing it because if you don’t do it, there will be negative repercussions. Motivation is making myself do something that I don’t really want to do. Inspiration is having the clear picture of what I am wanting — and letting Universal forces come into play to get the outcome.

Abraham through Esther and Jerry Hicks

I believe that what distinguishes motivation from inspiration is that motivation draws on effortful action and effortful action is always under-girded by fear.  Inspiration, on the other hand, is spontaneous as it is  the natural behavior of love.  It therefore spurs action that is effortless (even if it appears effortful to others and even to ourselves when we are not focused, aware and awake!).  The thing is, we are so habituated/conditioned into motivation that we leave little room for inspiration!

Yet, I am certain we have all experienced inspiration even if it has been infrequent and unpredictable.  Think back to a time when you did feel inspired.  Did you not feel such a buzz, ready to do anything, take on anything?  Did you not feel so thrilled, so joyous, so enthusiastic, so enchanted almost?  Wasn’t it an absolutely wonderful feeling?  Imagine if you could sustain that for more than a few fleeting minutes or hours.  Imagine living your lives on the clouds of inspiration, which are really the clouds of love!  Wow!

Unfortunately, most of us know only too well the ‘drop’ from such an elevated state of being.  And while it is a conditioned and learned ‘drop’, we, in our conditioning call it ‘reality’ as if the euphoria or inspiration we felt was not!  Has it occurred to you that this ‘drop’ does not have to happen?  At least not it the way it typically does?  Can you contemplate living from inspiration most of the time, if not all of the time, rather than sporadically?

Have you noticed that moments of inspiration are moments of sheer delight, of sheer ‘ah-ha’ when absolutely no doubt exists?  It is as if you have encountered truth and you and truth are one!  There is absolutely nothing in the way!  Indeed, it is what you experience when you are flowing freely in the stream of happiness, of love, of the truth of who you are.  In moments of inspiration, you experience limitlessness.  In short, inspiration is the experience of who you truly are and because we are mostly asleep to who we truly are, we experience inspiration only rarely!

So, how do we make inspiration a more frequent experience?  How do we remain inspired?  Here is one way:

Never identify with a problem or any unpleasant situation you are experiencing.  Instead, use the problem or situation to prompt you to remember that you are infinitely more than any problem.  Remind yourself that you are limitless, free and powerful and most importantly, allow yourself to feel it.  By refusing to identify with a problem or unpleasant situation, you are free to rise to the lofty, limitless heights of inspiration!

Blessings, Lucy

Awakening to Happiness!

a

.

.

Here’s a situation.  You’re driving along a main street.  The traffic is flowing smoothly.  About ten minutes on, however, you encounter a road block.  What do you do?

Do you get out of your car, gather all the tools you have in the boot of your car and proceed to dismantle the block?

OR

Do you get out of your car and remove the road block?

OR

Do you by-pass the road block by taking the signed detour?

I’m sure you’ll choose the third option, right?  So why is it that when it comes to the barriers/blocks that we encounter in our lives, we seldom use this option?  Instead, we wastefully pour our energy into the first or second type of action, either trying to unravel this block or remove it.

If, for instance, you find yourself being distrustful of a certain person (a road block/barrier to your happiness), are you likely to obsess about what it was in your past that made you distrustful and how you can undo that past experience?  Or do you try to remove the person that you consider responsible from your life altogether?  Or are you able to acknowledge the distrust (which is a mental state of your conditioning)  and move on by taking another route, a route of trust, openness, forgiveness etc (guided by your inner wisdom)  in this case?

In taking another route, remember, you are still continuing to move towards your destination.  It is just that you are following a less effortful path, one that flows downstream.  In other words, you are moving in your natural flow of happiness.

Now here is something equally important to keep in mind.  The road block in my hypothetical situation is temporary.  It will be removed at some point.  This is yet another reason why trying to dismantle or remove it yourself is a wasteful use of your energy.

Likewise, the distrust or fear or anger or worthlessness or sadness that you feel is a temporary feeling.  If left to itself, it will dissipate.  If, however, you choose to hold on to it, well then, expect to be saddled with it until you choose to let it go.

For as long as you hold on to it, your attention (whether conscious or unconscious) will be trapped by it and with your attention, your energy.  The result is that you have less or no energy to direct to moving  towards your destination.  Put another way, by holding on to what you do not want i.e. distrust, anger, etc, you are unable to direct your attention fully to what you do want.

Finally, if, to continue with my roadblock analogy, you should decide that you wish to stay put until the roadblock is removed, you could end up waiting for a very long time with no guarantee that it will be removed!

What’s the corollary of this in our personal lives?

If you decide to wait for the things/people/situations in your life to change before you continue on your journey…yes, you get it….you could be waiting forever :).

So, consider what the roadblocks/barriers in your life are that are preventing you from cruising down that natural stream of happiness.  You don’t have to know them inside out, their particular ‘history’/'make’/'material’/'model’/'manufacture date or place’ etc.  You just need to acknowledge that they are there.  See them for what they are.  Don’t fight with them.  Don’t stay angry with them.  Don’t demand they change or be removed.  Just acknowledge them, consider a different route (which will always be associated with feelings of peace and joy) and move on!

Blessings!

Lucy Lopez

Awakening to Happiness!

a

.

I said I would follow up my last post with a post about some actions we may take in helping someone realize and live from their natural state of happiness.  I will!  In the meantime, however, I thought I would share with you my response to another question I received.  I feel it might help others!

“My problem is that my mind is constantly directed towards self-improvement , thinking how I can be better than others and gain more praise and boost my ego.

Though I am friendly, help everybody , am understanding to everyone, there’s one person who I envy a lot and I don’t want that person to get better than me in any aspect .

Wherever I go ,  I think of  improving myself .

I feel restless . I have a big ego and don’t think that God is important in our lives. I only think of him when I need something .

I have this attitude and I want inner peace but at the same time I want to keep moving forward and be more knowledgeable than others. This is an inextinguishable fire in me!

I am not able to change my attitude what should I do ?

Is there any meditation or advice you can give me ?

Hi Daniel!

What you have described is such a common experience for so many people although most believe that it is unique to them :-)!

If you examine it carefully, you will see that within what you have described as a ‘problem’ are some really ‘good’ and beautiful desires, such as wanting to improve, wanting peace and wanting to keep learning.  However, as I think you yourself can see, it is the ‘motivation‘ behind these desires that does not seem to be quite so ‘good’ and beautiful.

From what you have said, it would seem that your motivation for wanting to improve, to learn more and to constantly strive for excellence is driven by wanting to do better than others, to ‘gain more praise’  and to perhaps feel superior.  Would you agree?  And this type of motivation does not leave a good feeling within you.  On the contrary, it makes you feel restless, dissatisfied and envious.  True?

So here are some things that I would like to offer for your consideration.  I suggest that you take some time to reflect on each of these points in a meditative way until you can really feel the ‘weight’ of their truth!  Try to keep a light and humorous attitude while you do this…if we didn’t take ourselves so seriously, we would be a lot happier :).  Alright, here they are:

*We feel most at peace when we are at peace with other people and things around us
*We feel least fear and anxiety when we are open and free, allowing ourselves to enjoy everything and everyone
*We feel restless, dissatisfied, competitive and needing praise when we feel that how and what we are is ‘not (good/great) enough’.

Now, I would like you to further reflect on this question:

If, indeed, I am capable of outdoing someone such that everyone else praises me and tells me what a great person I am, what does that prove?  Does it prove that I am indeed better?

I think that when you examine this, you will discover the following beliefs:

1. My sense of who I am and my true worth/value depends on peoples’ opinions of me.

2. I myself do not have a great sense of self-worth which is reflected by the fact that I need other peoples’ good opinion and praise.

3. Effectively, I have given over control of my happiness and peace to other people.

Once again, I ask you to reflect on each of the above.  Let this whole process that I have taken you through be your meditation.  Sit quietly and go through it.  Remember, there are no ‘right’ answers.  The only ‘right’ answers are your honest answers.

Having done that, consider the following for further reflection:

* We are by nature, creative, free, limitless.  That is the nature of god/Buddha/Brahman/Allah within each one of us.  We are all created in god’s nature.  We exist within god/ultimate reality, as god, in the particular form that each of us is. There is nothing outside god/ultimate reality.

* Our creative, limitless nature is such that we will keep creating, keep expanding, keep exploring, keep experiencing. This is how we naturally are.

* We are naturally peaceful and joyous and our creative, limitless nature naturally expresses that peace and joy.

* We can experience this natural peace and joy when we sit still and let our thoughts and feelings simply rise and fall without getting engaged with them.

* There is not a single thing that is not created in god, as god, including the person you wish to outdo.  That person, just like you is, the creative, limitless expression of god.

* To envy someone is to want what you believe they have and you don’t.  In truth, as expressions of god (the ultimate reality, source and power of all life), there is nothing that we don’t already have.

* It is possible to want something that someone has without wanting them to be denied of the same thing!  For instance, if your brother has a beautiful partner, it is possible for you too to want a beautiful partner without wanting your brother to be denied of his!

Again, we are in, and of, the limitless nature of god and there is enough for everyone!  But we will not see this if we believe in limitation.  Likewise, if you see your brother as having a great mind, you too may seek to have a great mind without wanting your brother to be denied of his AND you may seek to have a great mind not to win praise but to express more and more your true/godly nature!

We are all aspects of the same ultimate reality (god) and we are reflections of this reality/god to one another.  When we see something beautiful in someone else, it is an aspect of god that we see and it is an aspect that we too possess but which, perhaps, we have not yet learned to express (or, more accurately, which we have learned not to express)! So, go ahead, seek to express that aspect/quality (and so many other aspects/qualities as well), remembering that you can do this without wanting the other person to stop reflecting it!  When you do this, you will experience the peace and joy that you seek.

Because we are all of the one reality/god, competition serves to try and break up this oneness, to tear it apart. It goes against our very nature, which is why we are never peaceful when we are competitive.  In truth, no matter how much we compete, we can never break up the oneness of god that we are.  However, we will suffer the effects of struggling to do so!

Daniel, I hope you will find something of use here.  Remember, as an aspect of ultimate reality (and there is nothing beyond ultimate reality/god), you are a limitless, powerful, perfect being.  As Rumi, the Sufi mystic, said, we don’t need to seek love or greatness because this is what we naturally are!  We just have to remove the barriers we have constructed in its/our path!

Blessings!  Lucy

a